A Little Encouragement for the Singles Out There

A Little Encouragement for the Singles Out There

Sometimes, being single can feel like being the last unicorn. 

 I didn’t really feel that way in Dallas so much, I had a lot of single friends all around me.  But then I moved.  Now I feel like I don’t have any single friends in town.   I guess I have a few, technically speaking, but I see them so rarely, it feels like I don’t.  Anyhow, point being, I sometimes feel like the last unicorn.  Then, within a 9 month period, 3 of my closest single friends from home all got married…and then I really was tempted to feel like the last unicorn! 

But, this beautiful thing happened at Kristen’s wedding – I got to meet several other awesome, beautiful, darling, fun, Godly single women! 

It was significant that not only were they Godly, but they were all those other things too…because sometimes it’s really tempting to assume that there is a reason why I’m not married.  I mean, a reeeeason.  You know what I’m talking about – those reasons that you feel accused of and ashamed of and secretly are desperately afraid might actually be true.  Those reasons that others hurl at you in moments of thoughtlessness, sheer stupidity (sometimes they are really trying to help…but please, please dont!), or even worse, the ones hurled at you in moments of cruelty. 

Of course there is a reason – but it’s not a reason I need to feel ashamed of or afraid of or even accused of.  It’s simply that there is a God, and I’m not it.  Clearly, if I was it (God), Prince Charming would have already shown up, on a horse, with a Bible in his saddle bags, a Scottish accent, dreamy blue eyes and a probably a little bit of scruff … oh yeah, and with a smirk.  (What can I say, I dig the rough and rugged slightly roguish type.)  Oh yeah, and if my other single friends were writing with, they’d add that he would have a job! : ) 

Anyway – as I said, I’m not God, and I’m still single.  NOT because there’s something wrong with me, although there are plenty of people who would argue that point.  And I’m not saying that there aren’t things wrong with me – again, I know more than a few people who will gladly testify to all my many and grievous faults.  But I am saying that my faults are not the cause of my singleness…GOD is the cause of my singleness. 

Anyway, I am not writing to justify my singleness…believe it or not.  Back to the lovely, beautiful, darling new single friends I met…meeting them was a huge encouragement because as much as I may know deep down that singleness is not proof positive that I am too broken to be loved, it still helped to meet other “normal” single women.  You know, sometimes you do meet those single people who you can’t help but think, “Yep, I get it.  It’s no wonder to me (or the rest of the world) why you’re still single.”  But these were not those girls!  These were those girls who you meet and you immediately wonder, “How on earth are you still single?!” 

Sometimes it’s just good to know you are NOT the last unicorn! 

And so today, I came across a favorite quote of mine and sent it to my new friends and thought I would post it here as well to encourage anyone else who might be feeling a little discouraged about the absence of anything even vaguely resembling a Prince Charming, or even a Mr. Right Now… 

I never knew of any interference on the part of a wicked fairy that did not turn out a good thing in the end.  What a good thing, for instance, it was that one princess should sleep for a hundred years!  Was she not saved from all the plague of young men who were not worthy of her?  And did she not come awake exactly at the right moment when the right prince kissed her?  For my part, I cannot help wishing a good many girls would sleep till just the same fate overtook them.  It would be happier for them and more agreeable to their friends.

-George MacDonald from At the Back of the North Wind

So, if it seems that you are cursed by some mean fairy and all the would-be suitors are distracted by lesser pursuits or cannot find their way through the woods to you…if it seems that the treasure that you are has been masked and hidden such that none can see it…take heart.  You are more blessed than you know if you are spared an endless litany of unworthy suitors.  You have neither the tax on your time nor the strain on your emotions.  Neither are you tempted to say “yes” not knowing that a more suitable prince awaits. 

Long before I read George MacDonald’s brilliance, I used to pray that God would hide me until the right man came along.  I’m still hidden.  I guess I shouldn’t complain – He answered my prayers!  Now I guess it’s time pray that He gives Prince Charming a little nudge in the right direction.  : )

In the meanwhile, there is one other encouraging little verse I wanted to share with all the lonely singles out there.   (Oh my goodness…that line sounds like something Delilah would say on the radio!)

Hosea 2:14-15 (Amplified Bible)

14Therefore, behold, I will allure her [Israel] and bring her into the wilderness, and I will speak tenderly and to her heart.

15There I will give her her vineyards and make the Valley of Achor [troubling] to be for her a door of hope and expectation. And she shall sing there and respond as in the days of her youth and as at the time when she came up out of the land of Egypt.

Oh that we all may find that our wilderness is the place of God’s wooing.  That our place of trouble may become an opening to hope and expectation.  That we would not find that age and singleness had  made us bitter, discouraged or disappointed, but that God’s tender love would keep us just as eager and hopeful and sweet and responsive as we were when we were younger.