Despicable Me 2 – Quotes
Click here to read SPM’s review/discussion of Despicable Me 2.
Gru, dressed as a fairy princess: “It is I – GruZinkerbell” 
Kid: “How come you’re so fat?”
GruZinkerbell: “Because my house is made of candy and sometimes I eat to deal with my problems.”
Jill: “I’m going to go out on a limb now…”
Gru: “No! No…Get off the limb, Jill.”
Gru to Jill after he sprayed her with a water hose: “I’m sorry. I didn’t see you there….[does it again]… or there.”
Lucy: “You know, you really should announce your weapons after you use them. Like…[tazes him with lipstick]…Lipstick Taser!”
Agnes: “You’re the best fairy princess EVER! (I know it’s you, Gru, but I’m just pretending for the other children.)”
Ramsbottom, Head of AVL: “Kill someone, not interested. Steal something, not our thing. Melt the polar ice caps or vaporize Mt. Fuji or steal the moon…then we are interested.”
Gru: “Mmm – you don’t usually see that in bunnies.”
Gru: “Ok, I see where this is going now with all the mission impossible stuff. I’m a father now. Good day Mr. Sheep’s Butt.”
Ramsbottom: “Ramsbottom.”
Gru: “Oh yeah, like that’s any better.”
Gru: “Yeah, well, she’s a nut job and I’m not going on any dates.”
Child from Gru’s childhood: “EWWW! Gru touched Lisa! Gru touched Lisa! Lisa’s got Gruties”
Gru: “Avery…is it a girl’s name or a boy’s name?”
Margo: “Does it matter?”
Gru: “No… unless it’s a boy!”
Agnes: “I know what makes you a boy.”
Gru: “You do??”
Agnes: “Yeah – your bald head! Sometimes I imagine a chick popping its head out. Peep, peep, peep.”
Gru: “Good night, Agnes. Never get older.”
Dr. Nefario: “Don’t you think there’s more to our future than jelly?”
Gru: “I’m also thinking of a line of jams!”
Gru: “The 21 fart salute!”
Dr. Nefario: “I counted 22.” [a minion gets sheepish]
Margo: “What celeb do you look like?”
Gru: “Bruce Willis?”
Margo: “No.”
Agnes: “Humpty Dumpty!”
Gru, regarding Macho: “He died in the most macho way possible. Riding a shark. Into a volcano. Strapped to 53 [?] pounds of dynamite.”
Agnes: “I don’t even have a mom.”
Gru: “But you did the Veterans Day pageant and you’ve never been in combat.”
Gru: “Lucy – Girls. Girls – Lucy.”
Agnes: “Are you single?”
Agnes: “You love her! You love her! You love her!”
Lucy: “Those girls totally adore you. I bet you’re a fun dad.”
Gru: “Hmmm. I am pretty fun.”
Agnes: “Isn’t that stealing?” [as Edith pulls an armful of coins out of the wishing fountain]
Edith: “Not if my wish was I’d get a lot of free coins.”
“When someone moves into the mall that is folically challenged, I make it my business to know all about them.”
Antonio: “My dream is to one day play video games for a living.”
Margo: “Wow. You’re complicated.”
Margo: “Oh, Gru. Se llama Antonio. Me llamo Margo.”
Gru: “Me llama llama ding dong.”
Gru: “They’re not in love. They hardly even know each other.”
Gru: “His deviously charming son. You got to get the son. … Don’t forget about the son. That kid gives me the creeps.”
Agnes to Jillian at the door: “Gru’s not here.”
Jillian: “Are you sure?”
Agnes (as she tries to understand Gru’s hand motions): “Yes! He just told me. He’s…putting on lipstick! … Swatting at flies… Chopping his head off?… He’s…pooping???”
Lucy to Gru about his bad date: “It’s like she’s been shot with a mild moose tranquilizer.”
Agnes to Gru, about Lucy: “Is there anything I can do to help?”
Gru: “No, Sweetheart.”
Agnes: “Well, is there anything you can do?”
Gru to Margo and Antonio: “Let’s go over the rules, because, what is fun without the rules?”
Antonio: “There are no rules. It’s Cinco de Mayo!”
Macho: “No, he’s not Kevin anymore. Now he’s an indestructible, mindless, killing machine.”
Macho: “I’ve been admiring your work for ages. Stealing the moon…are you kidding?!”
Gru: “I pretty much knew it was him all along, so that makes me the cool one.”
Dr. Nefario: “I mean, I’m happy to create an evil army to destroy the world, but nobody messes with my family.”
Gru: “You brought the kids?”
Dr. Nefario: “Yes! I mean, is that wrong?”
Lucy: “Oh, hey Gru. Turns out you were right about the whole Macho thing. Yeah.”
Gru: “Lipstick taser!”
Lucy: “Awwww… he copied me!”
Lucy: “Sorry! Guess you kind of need your arms to tread water, huh?”
Agnes at Gru and Lucy’s wedding: “I’d like to make some toast…”