Despicable Me 2 – Quotes

Click here to read SPM’s review/discussion of Despicable Me 2.


Gru, dressed as a fairy princess:  “It is I – GruZinkerbell”  

Kid:  “How come you’re so fat?”

GruZinkerbell:  “Because my house is made of candy and sometimes I eat to deal with my problems.”

Jill:  “I’m going to go out on a limb now…”

Gru:  “No! No…Get off the limb, Jill.”

Gru to Jill after he sprayed her with a water hose:  “I’m sorry.  I didn’t see you there….[does it again]… or there.”

Lucy:  “You know, you really should announce your weapons after you use them.  Like…[tazes him with lipstick]…Lipstick Taser!”

Agnes:  “You’re the best fairy princess EVER!  (I know it’s you, Gru, but I’m just pretending for the other children.)”

Ramsbottom, Head of AVL:  “Kill someone, not interested.  Steal something, not our thing.  Melt the polar ice caps or vaporize Mt. Fuji or steal the moon…then we are interested.”

Gru:  “Mmm – you don’t usually see that in bunnies.”

Gru:  “Ok, I see where this is going now with all the mission impossible stuff.  I’m a father now.  Good day Mr. Sheep’s Butt.”

Ramsbottom:  “Ramsbottom.”

Gru:  “Oh yeah, like that’s any better.”

Gru:  “Yeah, well, she’s a nut job and I’m not going on any dates.”

Child from Gru’s childhood:  “EWWW!  Gru touched Lisa!  Gru touched Lisa!  Lisa’s got Gruties”

Gru:  “Avery…is it a girl’s name or a boy’s name?”

Margo:  “Does it matter?”

Gru:  “No…  unless it’s a boy!

Agnes:  “I know what makes you a boy.”

Gru:  “You do??”

Agnes:  “Yeah – your bald head!  Sometimes I imagine a chick popping its head out.  Peep, peep, peep.”

Gru:  “Good night, Agnes.  Never get older.”

Dr. Nefario:  “Don’t you think there’s more to our future than jelly?”

Gru:  “I’m also thinking of a line of jams!”

Gru:  “The 21 fart salute!”

Dr. Nefario:  “I counted 22.”  [a minion gets sheepish]

Margo:  “What celeb do you look like?”

Gru:  “Bruce Willis?”

Margo:  “No.”

Agnes:  “Humpty Dumpty!”

Gru, regarding Macho:  “He died in the most macho way possible.  Riding a shark.  Into a volcano.  Strapped to 53 [?] pounds of dynamite.”

Agnes:  “I don’t even have a mom.”

Gru:  “But you did the Veterans Day pageant and you’ve never been in combat.”

Gru:  “Lucy – Girls.  Girls – Lucy.”

Agnes:  “Are you single?”

Agnes:  “You love her!  You love her!  You love her!”

Lucy:  “Those girls totally adore you.  I bet you’re a fun dad.”

Gru:  “Hmmm.  I am pretty fun.”

Agnes:  “Isn’t that stealing?”  [as Edith pulls an armful of coins out of the wishing fountain]

Edith:  “Not if my wish was I’d get a lot of free coins.”

“When someone moves into the mall that is folically challenged, I make it my business to know all about them.”

Antonio:  “My dream is to one day play video games for a living.”

Margo:  “Wow.  You’re complicated.”

Margo:  “Oh, Gru.  Se llama Antonio.  Me llamo Margo.”

Gru:  “Me llama llama ding dong.”

Gru:  “They’re not in love.  They hardly even know each other.”

Gru:  “His deviously charming son.  You got to get the son. … Don’t forget about the son.  That kid gives me the creeps.”

Agnes to Jillian at the door:  “Gru’s not here.”

Jillian:  “Are you sure?”

Agnes (as she tries to understand Gru’s hand motions):  “Yes!  He just told me.  He’s…putting on lipstick!  …  Swatting at flies…  Chopping his head off?…  He’s…pooping???”

Lucy to Gru about his bad date:  “It’s like she’s been shot with a mild moose tranquilizer.”

Agnes to Gru, about Lucy:  “Is there anything I can do to help?”

Gru:  “No, Sweetheart.”

Agnes:  “Well, is there anything you can do?

Gru to Margo and Antonio:  “Let’s go over the rules, because, what is fun without the rules?”

Antonio:  “There are no rules.  It’s Cinco de Mayo!”

Macho:  “No, he’s not Kevin anymore.  Now he’s an indestructible, mindless, killing machine.”

Macho:  “I’ve been admiring your work for ages.  Stealing the moon…are you kidding?!”

Gru:  “I pretty much knew it was him all along, so that makes me the cool one.”

Dr. Nefario:  “I mean, I’m happy to create an evil army to destroy the world, but nobody messes with my family.”

Gru:  “You brought the kids?”

Dr. Nefario:  “Yes!  I mean, is that wrong?”

Lucy:  “Oh, hey Gru.  Turns out you were right about the whole Macho thing.  Yeah.”

Gru:  “Lipstick taser!”

Lucy:  “Awwww… he copied me!”

Lucy:  “Sorry!  Guess you kind of need your arms to tread water, huh?”

Agnes at Gru and Lucy’s wedding:  “I’d like to make some toast…”