Grudge Match – Quotes
Announcer: Kid be came a spokesman for everything from jockey to jock itch.
Why’d you give it up?
Kid: I never told anyone, but deep down, deep inside, I wanted to dance.
Kid: Did you know Razor Sharp was ambidextrous? … Yeah, he could get knocked out with either arm.
Lightning: Hearing aid drives me crazy. I feel like R2 freakin’ D2.
Razor: [It’s] Tuna fish.
Lightning: That’s not fish. Fish is like sushi. That’s like a step above cat food.
Dante: Height ain’t nothing but a number. In Thailand, I’m way above normal, so in Thailand I’m good.
Kid: You look like Buzz Lightyear—to infinity, and beyond!
Dante: When did they unfreeze you, Captain America?
Dante (to his dead father): You were right to have ripped him off, Daddy. You should!
Kid, watching himself on TV: They say the camera adds ten pounds, wow!
Razor: What’s your excuse for the other twenty?
Dante: I just won a cracker lottery. Thank you, Jesus!
Reporter: If one of you gets knocked down, is it safe to say you’ve fallen, and you can’t get up?
Reporter: Which of you is in better shape?
Razor: Well, depends on what you’re asking. If the shape is round, he is.
Dante: No such thing as bad publicity.
Lightning: No, don’t spend any more money on me. I’m almost done. It’s like polishing a turd.
Razor: I know what an iPad is. It’s one of those flat things you push around with your fingers.
Mikey: I’m your trainer, Mikey.
Kid: You can’t be my trainer. Maybe I believe you ate my trainer.
Mikey to Kid: Your boobs, they bounce when you jump. It’s like bad Bay Watch.
Lightning: Well, well. She’s single. You should call her up before she remembers who you are.
Kid: That’s my son. He’s the first one to talk to me like I’m a boxer and not like a pair of t***.
BJ, regarding his smart-mouth: Nobody could figure out where I got it, but I’m thinking now maybe mom had a pretty good idea.
Lightning, to Razor as he starts to punch meat slabs: That’s not sanitary. Why do you have to punch everything? No. We’re jus there to pick up dinner.
Lightning to Kid as he soaks his hand in stinky, yellow liquid: It’s horse piss. No; it’s vinegar. It’s urine. Vinegar. I’m kidding. …
Grandson: I think everyone is a little cranky because no one has eaten.
Grandson: You must be really tired if you fell asleep with all these people.
Kid: Why did you sleep with me?
Sally: I was stupid.
Kid: Well, girls have slept with me for less.
Lightning: Hey Webster, show a little respect!
Dante: I choose to believe that you just called me Webster because of my dictionary-sized vocabulary, NOT because of my height and race.
Lightning: Nope. It’s because you’re short and black.
Dante: What was Jesus like? I’m curious; was he cool?
MMA personnel: What, because boxing’s better? They fight in a square and call it a ring.
Razor: Good point.
Dante: Do I give a s***? No.
Kid: Boy are you going to be feisty when you hit puberty.
Kid to MMA personnel: We had a name for people that kicked when they fought. We called ‘em girls.
Razor when Sally knew it was him calling: How’d she know?
Lightning: Caller ID. Would it be easier if I said she had magic powers?
Razor to Sally: That was a long time ago. I put it behind me and I don’t want to get all emotional…but WHY HIM???
Sally: Wow. I think you depressed the s*** out of those pigeons.
Kid to grandson: Wanna go to the movies?
Grandson: It’s PG or R. I don’t do G.
Kid: Well, you’re a little old for your years, aren’t you?
Grandson: So are you.
Restaurant Maître D to Razor: You have a call from Dante. He said, quote, it’s mad important and s*** just got real.
Dante: Look at you! Still alive; defying odds.
Dante: I’m talking to you!!! You’re not even gonna storm off? You gonna stroll in slow fashion???
Kid: Now that you got her, you wanna move on? What do I got?
Walter: It’s always been my life’s passion to wait tables. Don’t let this high paying job fool you; we could all use a win. We’ll be there in the nose bleeds.
Kid to BJ: You look like her.
Kid: No, not really.
Razor: I’ve always regretted not beating him at his best.
Sally: No matter how hard you work, it won’t be your best.
Razor: Well, the best we got.
Lightning: I’m 800 years old and I say what I want.
Lightning: Go knock him out. Now hurry up. I gotta pee.
Kid: You wanna go more?
You OK kid?
Kid: Not really. I’m dying—but I never felt better.
Dante regarding the stinky, yellow liquid: It’s strong. Why is it that strong? The vinegar may be bad.