Grudge Match – Quotes


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Announcer:  Kid be came a spokesman for everything from jockey to jock itch.

Why’d you give it up?
Kid:  I never told anyone, but deep down, deep inside, I wanted to dance.

Kid:  Did you know Razor Sharp was ambidextrous? … Yeah, he could get knocked out with either arm.

Lightning:  Hearing aid drives me crazy.  I feel like R2 freakin’ D2.

Razor:  [It’s] Tuna fish.
Lightning:  That’s not fish.  Fish is like sushi.  That’s like a step above cat food.

Dante:  Height ain’t nothing but a number.  In Thailand, I’m way above normal, so in Thailand I’m good.

Kid:  You look like Buzz Lightyear—to infinity, and beyond!

Dante:  When did they unfreeze you, Captain America?

Dante (to his dead father):  You were right to have ripped him off, Daddy.  You should!

Kid, watching himself on TV:  They say the camera adds ten pounds, wow!
Razor:  What’s your excuse for the other twenty?

Dante:  I just won a cracker lottery.  Thank you, Jesus!

Reporter:  If one of you gets knocked down, is it safe to say you’ve fallen, and you can’t get up?

Reporter:  Which of you is in better shape?
Razor:  Well, depends on what you’re asking.  If the shape is round, he is.

Dante:  No such thing as bad publicity.

Lightning:  No, don’t spend any more money on me.  I’m almost done.  It’s like polishing a turd.

Razor:  I know what an iPad is.  It’s one of those flat things you push around with your fingers.

Mikey:  I’m your trainer, Mikey.
Kid:  You can’t be my trainer. Maybe I believe you ate my trainer.

Mikey to Kid:  Your boobs, they bounce when you jump.  It’s like bad Bay Watch.

Lightning:  Well, well.  She’s single.  You should call her up before she remembers who you are.

Kid:  That’s my son.  He’s the first one to talk to me like I’m a boxer and not like a pair of t***.

BJ, regarding his smart-mouth:  Nobody could figure out where I got it, but I’m thinking now maybe mom had a pretty good idea.

Lightning, to Razor as he starts to punch meat slabs:  That’s not sanitary.  Why do you have to punch everything?  No.  We’re jus there to pick up dinner.

Lightning to Kid as he soaks his hand in stinky, yellow liquid:  It’s horse piss.  No; it’s vinegar.  It’s urine.  Vinegar.  I’m kidding.  …

Grandson:  I think everyone is a little cranky because no one has eaten.

Razor:  Kid loved boxing more than anything else and I want to take from him the one thing he loved more than anything else in the world, because that’s what he did to me.

Grandson:  You must be really tired if you fell asleep with all these people.

Kid:  Why did you sleep with me?
Sally:  I was stupid.
Kid:  Well, girls have slept with me for less.

Lightning:  Hey Webster, show a little respect!
Dante:  I choose to believe that you just called me Webster because of my dictionary-sized vocabulary, NOT because of my height and race.
Lightning:  Nope.  It’s because you’re short and black.
Dante: What was Jesus like?  I’m curious; was he cool?

Razor:  Octagon?
MMA personnel:  What, because boxing’s better?  They fight in a square and call it a ring.
Razor:  Good point.

Dante:  Do I give a s***?  No.
Kid:  Boy are you going to be feisty when you hit puberty.

Kid to MMA personnel:  We had a name for people that kicked when they fought.  We called ‘em girls.

Razor when Sally knew it was him calling:  How’d she know?
Lightning:  Caller ID.  Would it be easier if I said she had magic powers?

Razor to Sally:  That was a long time ago.  I put it behind me and I don’t want to get all emotional…but WHY HIM???

Sally:  Wow.  I think you depressed the s*** out of those pigeons.

Kid to grandson:  Wanna go to the movies?
Grandson:  It’s PG or R.  I don’t do G.
Kid:  Well, you’re a little old for your years, aren’t you?
Grandson:  So are you.

Restaurant Maître D to Razor:  You have a call from Dante.  He said, quote, it’s mad important and s*** just got real.

Dante:  Look at you!  Still alive; defying odds.

Dante:  I’m talking to you!!!  You’re not even gonna storm off?  You gonna stroll in slow fashion???

Kid:  Now that you got her, you wanna move on?  What do I got?

Walter:  It’s always been my life’s passion to wait tables.  Don’t let this high paying job fool you; we could all use a win.  We’ll be there in the nose bleeds.

Kid to BJ:  You look like her.
BJ:  Really?
Kid:  No, not really.

Razor:  I let him take from me the two things I love the most:  you and boxing.

Razor:  I’ve always regretted not beating him at his best.
Sally:  No matter how hard you work, it won’t be your best.
Razor:  Well, the best we got.

Lightning:  I’m 800 years old and I say what I want.

Lightning:  Go knock him out.  Now hurry up.  I gotta pee.

Kid:  You wanna go more?
Razor:  Yep.

You OK kid?
Kid:  Not really.  I’m dying—but I never felt better.

Dante regarding the stinky, yellow liquid:  It’s strong.  Why is it that strong?  The vinegar may be bad.