The Secret Life of Walter Mitty – Quotes
Todd Maher (online dating rep): You left the “been there, done that” section blank.
Walter Mitty: Yeah, well, I skipped that.
Todd: Well have you been anywhere?
Walter Mitty: Not anywhere mentionable or noteworthy.
Todd: Have you done anything mentionable or noteworthy?
Walter Mitty: I just live by the ABC’s. Adventurous. Brave. Creative.
I would like to climb your hair.
Cheryl: Are you coming?
Walter Mitty: Yes, I’m not.
Cheryl, on wring a mystery: Connect the clues, and then scatter them so they seem unrelated.
You should donate that [travel journal] because you never used it.
Walter Mitty: Donate my travel journal to a poor kid who’s never going to travel to Europe?
Cheryl: Do you want to walk up with me?
Walter Mitty: Starting now?
Cheryl: Greenland, the country? Can’t take a train there.
Walter Mitty: I have that Benjamin Buttons thing…
Walter Mitty as tiny, shriveled Benjamin Buttons talking to Cheryl in old age: My little heart is no bigger than a quarter, but it feels like Fort Knox.
Cheryl: Major Tom—that song is about courage and about going into the unknown. It’s a cool song.
Walter Mitty ordering a beer from a place that serves them in huge boot glasses: A small beer shoe?
Walter Mitty: I’m just blown away I located your thumb.
Helicopter Pilot: There’s like eight people in Greenland. It’s a good place to find a thumb.
Helicopter Pilot: Don’t cheat on your lady in Greenland…with only eight people.
Helicopter Pilot: Yeah, I’m kind of nervous about the storm. That’s why I get a couple of beers down.
Walter Mitty: It’s not a porpoise! It’s not a porpoise!
Walter Mitty: OMG that really happened? Sorry for palming your face.
I’ll see you on Sesame street, man.
Walter Mitty: Todd, I can’t really talk right now. I’m on my way to a volcano.
Cheryl: Iceland? Wasn’t it Greenland? You know that they’re not the same place, right?
Walter’s mom: You were his partner. He [Sean O’Connell] told me that you were the person who worked the hardest to make sure his work was realized. You finished his work.
Walter Mitty: I’ve rented two strong little men.
Todd Maher: Your profile really rounded out. That volcano shark combo really got a lot of thumbs-up.
Sean O’Connell: Beautiful things don’t ask for attention.
Sean O’Connell: If I like a moment—I mean me, personally—I don’t like to have the distraction of the camera. I just want to stay in it. Right here.
Walter Mitty: What was the picture?
Sean O’Connell: Let’s just call it a ghost cat, Walter Mitty.
Customs: How’d you get to Afghanistan?
Walter Mitty: Through Yemen.
Customs: Violent place.
Walter Mitty: That’s why the airfare is only $81 dollars.
Todd Maher: How’s that Cinnabon taste?… It’s like sugared heroine.
Walter Mitty’s mom: Found it in the trash. I always save your nick knacks.
Todd Maher regarding Walter’s look: It’s like Indiana Jones decided to become the lead singer of the Stokes or something.
Walter Mitty: Hey, do you know our motto?
Ted Hendricks: Life, I’m loving it.
Walter Mitty: That’s not it. That’s McDonald’s.
Walter Mitty: This thing that you do, Ted, where you come into a place and push people out, you should know those people worked really hard to build this magazine. They believed in the motto. And I get it, you’ve got your marching orders and you have to do what you have to do, but you don’t have to be such a d***. Put that on a plaque and hang it at your next job.
Walter Mitty: My sister got this role in Grease…Rizzo…not on Broadway, in a weird sort of church…
Cheryl regarding the last issue of Life: Should we get one?
Walter Mitty: Yeah, I was probably going to go by later and get one. I just didn’t want to seem uncool.